Brotherly Love

[chimeramimicry]

I'm almost too late.  I can feel the surge of air in the room before I even pry open the door.  We're up at the penthouse level, the suites.  It's high enough for the broken windows to suck the doors closed.  I'm breathless when I push my way inside.  I see the scuffle.  I hear Nathan's labored breathing.  I have no idea what I do exactly.

It goes back to a time when I lost Nathan.  I was young when my brother went off to serve his country in the Navy.  We're thirteen years apart.  It's a lifetime, really.  I didn't understand that my brother would not be there to wake up to anymore, or to climb into his bed when the monsters came.

The monsters have come again.  One in particular.  One I'm not strong enough to fight.  And yet, he leaves Nathan to me. Badly wounded, hardly breathing, sure.  But alive.  I can almost feel my knees give out as I scoop him up to my chest.  I should go after Sylar.  But I can't move from Nathan's side.

Comments

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

In here. What does that mean? I can already feel him pulling away from me again and I'm sure that it's going to be over. If he leaves me, I'm done for. My world's been turned around so much and so often that I'm screwed.

I still don't know what I want, what he's really asking me. I'm trying to be a leader here, but it's impossible. I can only emulate him. We've kissed so far, kissed briefly, but I know the sort of kiss he does want.

This one I can give. It's not timid, not as timid as I feel, but it is sweet, pattently me.

[prezstandsalone.livejournal.com]

I kiss him back and I know what I have to do to make him understand what I'm asking for. I have to tell him what Dad and Linderman did to me. I've never told anyone that particular secret before not even our mother, though with her power I'm guessing she knew and maybe even approved.

Hell I didn't know it was wrong until I got into the Navy and got the chance to talk to a consular about it. I enjoy Peter's sweet kiss a moment longer before I pull away and look him in the eye.

"Peter...I need to tell you the reason why I hated Dad so much, but couldn't do anything about it.....Dad...and Linderman...they."

I falter terrified, what if he doesn't believe me or worse only thinks I love him because I'm so messed up.

I don't know what I'd do if I lost him.

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

I really can't believe what's coming out of his mouth and I pause, my mouth open as I pull back from him. My heart's going to collapse. They orchestrated my blowup. They wanted to so many people. They wanted to kill me my blood is running cold as I pulled out of Nathan's arms.

He's lying to me. He's not telling me the whole truth. He worked for our father. He took over what he started. He met with Linderman, he knew what was going to happen to me. I can hardly breathe.

"You knew?" My God, I've lost so much. The last girl I thought I loved was lost somewhere in forever. I lost my mind for four months. I nearly helped an insane criminal let loose a virus onto the world... I put my hand to chest and stand up, tripping away from Nathan. "That's...that's fucked up!" Yes, more fucked up than the fact that I want to kiss my brother, to feel his hands on me. "Why, Nathan?"

[prezstandsalone.livejournal.com]

I haven't even gotten to the worst part, the part that made me do all those horrible things to the person I loved most in my life.

"I did it because Dad controlled me Peter, he used me body and soul and threatened you when I didn't do what he asked me to do," I say my face burning with shame and fear.

"Going after Linderman was my second try at breaking away from both of them and what they did to me and it almost got me killed and Heidi got hurt......so I didn't save anyone most of all you until it was too late.

All because I was still that little boy too scared to say no to the monsters when they hurt me."

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

I feel as if I'm just about ready to get sick. My stomach is turning as I gaze across the bed at my brother. He was a monster, the same as dad, and while I want to recoil from him, my arms are there to hold him in place. I might have mom, but she's just like snake oil sometimes. At least Nathan is a demon I know, one I have spent my whole like trying to make sure loved me.

So no matter what he did, no matter who he is, all I can do it wrap my arms around him and drop my face to his shoulder.

We're both scared little boys, I know this. But someone needs to be strong. I've clung to Nathan my whole life. Maybe he should cling to me a little. Maybe I can show him how to live like a human being, not an ambitious, arrogant prick.

I laugh against his throat. Nathan? Something other than a prick? It's a funny thought.