It's Called Being a Hero

[chimeramimicry]

"It's Called Being a Hero"
Who: Peter, Peter, Nathan
When: After some weird selfcest.


The knock on the door made Peter blink as he tilted away from the open refrigerator door.  Who the hell came for a visit without calling first?  Delivery guys.  Huh.  Did his new Superman resin kit arrive already?  He didn't get the confirmation email or--  Well, whatever.  He's just glad that it came up to his door instead of being left at the mailboxes like usual.  Jeez, he had more stuff swiped that way.

"Hang on."  Slam goes the door.  Milk in hand, and wearing only his boxers, Peter and his rumpled hair go to answer the door.

He's not expecting Nathan.

The deer in headlights look gives that away.

Comments

[fallen-empath.livejournal.com]

"That's not why I came back here, and you know it!" he says, fueled by his own indignation and refusal to take all the blame. He gets to his feet, assuming a similar stance.

"If I remember correctly, I didn't even want to go there pretending to be you! I knew I couldn't trust myself!"

He wipes his cheeks and his nose on his sleeve -- yet another thing here that doesn't belong to him -- trying to compose himself enough that he doesn't sound as pathetic as he feels, and knows he must look.

"You don't want to go to my time, Peter. It's a fate worse than death, I promise you. I came here to fix things so that you'd never have to," he says, stepping a little closer. It makes his chest ache and his stomach churn, seeing and feeling just how angry and sickened his younger self is by what he's done.

"I wanted to save Nathan. My Nathan. I didn't want to take yours."

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

Peter sways just a bit. It's not as if he can't manage to stand straight, it's just that the feed back of their empathy loop is making him almost sick to his stomach. His eyes ache as he presses his hand to his temple. "And what about me?"

Just a little bit of fun before he went back to hell? Peter's been used a lot, more times than he even knows, but he would have thought his older self would have known better than to play with him. He was wrong, unfortunately. Dead wrong.

"You know what, man? I don't care." Lies. "You should just go."

He has to go and lay down now. And figure out what he's going to do about Nathan. They'll just forget it had ever happened, right? He'll never talk about it. God, Nathan will probably never talk about it-- So, so what? It never happened!

Peter's going with that.

[law-anddisorder.livejournal.com]

Nathan drives just to drive, as if he's on autopilot, white-knuckling the wheel, going right past his office. He realizes fifteen minutes later that he has to turn around.

He meets with his campaign manager in a daze, and barely listens to the man talk his ear off. He nods and smiles and agrees wholeheartedly with each suggestion he's given, not really giving a damn. These last-minute details really don't matter in the grand scheme of things. He'll either win, or he'll lose. His performance in the polls has been sketchy at best, but he's kept a positive outlook because that's what he was raised to do. Good things come to those who wait, yes, but they also come to those who lie, cheat and con their way to get them. He's done his fair share of it, because in matters such as these, the ends justify the means.

But his brother...that's a whole different story. What the hell was that? It was almost like he was possessed!

And so, Nathan finds himself in front of his brother's apartment building, still completely not understanding what happened. What he allowed to happen. Nathan is not gay. He doesn't fantasize about sex with men. And especially not with his brother! He's happily married to his wife of ten years, he has his two children...

So why didn't Nathan stop him?

He buzzes Peter's intercom, and tries to keep his voice neutral. "Peter, it's me. Open the door."

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

Happily married with two children and a few mistresses here and there, all of whom have been blonde and none of whom have been men.

Peter lifts his head from the pillow and speaks to no one in particular: "No, no, go away, Nathan!" But Nathan's too far to hear him and Peter needs his brother after all of this. He's in hell. One night with a man and it's hell ever after.

The parish priest had been right!

And that was almost as shocking as what he was right about!

Stumbling to the intercom, Peter leaned on the buzzer, counting to ten, before he just let it go. He had other things to do...like clean up. And put on his best impression of a man not suffering from too much desire to bury himself in a pile of clothes and be forgotten about.

The knock on the door makes him swallow, though, and he thumbs the lock before heading into the kitchen. "It's open."

[law-anddisorder.livejournal.com]

Nathan steps inside slowly, carefully, in case there's something strategically placed for him to trip over. The lights are off. Is Peter really sitting here in the dark?

He flicks on the light switch, and is surprised to find that the apartment is immaculate. A far cry from how he found it this morning when he stopped by. When did Peter have time?

Not important. He doesn't see Peter in the living room, and there's no fucking way he's going into his brother's bedroom.

"Peter, I'd really rather you not hide from me like one of my kids, all right? I shouldn't have thrown you out of the car like that. I was just... I don't know. Fuck. I need a drink."

Nathan eyes the bathroom: empty. He goes right to the kitchen and finally finds his brother, looking quite miserable. Nathan opens the cabinet where Peter keeps his mismatched cups and plates, where he knows his bottle of Scotch resides when he's not around. He takes a good long swallow straight from it, because he's really not sure what to say next.

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

Threw him out? Peter hadn't stuck around long enough to realize that. And just as well. He felt even more conflicted about what happened now with the other Peter. He did not retort about being compared to Monty and Simon. He did not watch Nathan drink from his bottle. He just backs himself up instead, giving his brother the space he needs.

That they both need. And Nathan probably thinks it has to do with him telling Peter not to touch him. Peter's listening without even knowing it.

Christ. This is hard.

Peter is not going to start a conversation here about anything other than the typical and mundane.

There's no other choice.

"Hey. Want me to order a pizza and wings or something?"

[law-anddisorder.livejournal.com]

Nathan decides to act like the dignified man he tries to be, pouring himself a generous measure into a glass, adding ice to water it down just a little. He doesn't know how long he'll be staying, and he wants to drive himself home in one piece.

Yeah, you could always fly...

Pretending things haven't happened seems to be the God damned story of his life nowadays.

"Sure. Make sure they send the blue cheese dip," Nathan says, handing him a beer. He then gives him a confused look, flicking on the TV. "I can't believe you're hungry again after how much you ate at dinner. You're like a bottomless pit, Peter."

All right. Peter doesn't seem to want to talk about it, and he no longer seems possessed by his incestuous desires. Maybe it was just a one-time thing that would never be spoken of again.

Nathan could deal with that... almost.

Almost, because strike him down and send him to Hell, it was the best head he'd ever gotten. His eyes had left the road here and there, just to look down and make sure that it was actually Peter with his head in his lap--

Okay, enough of that. He banishes the thought with another good shot and sits down on the couch, leaving a whole cushion of space between them.

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

Peter doesn't sit down. He makes a phone call. He stays in the kitchen. He answers a text he sneakily sends himself because he doesn't exactly have any friends any more. He stares at that text for a long while. He tries not to feel the ache of it in the pit of his stomach.

And then he stands between Nathan and the show he's not actually watching.

"Hey. Listen. I'm sorry--" For everything. "But you've got to go. I really just can't--" Deal with you any more today.

Nathan kicked his other self out of the car, fine. But he let it happen like the selfish prick he is and Peter really can't sit here and pretend like it's all fine. It will never be fine again.

[law-anddisorder.livejournal.com]

Nathan looks up at his brother, and takes another sip from his drink before setting it down and retrieving his jacket from the hook on the wall. "Are you serious?"

Oh, he is. Nathan can see it by the hard set of his brother's jaw, the pained look, the glimmer in his eyes that is probably tears waiting to come.

No. No way. Peter doesn't get to run this show, not after that fucked-up display in the car. Nathan, as the elder brother and the injured party, no less, came here to make peace. To try to salvage their already strained relationship after Peter did something utterly unthinkable.

Never mind that Nathan just sat there and let it happen. Something was seriously wrong with both of them if Nathan thought he was entirely not responsible.

"You want to kick me out now, is that it? Well, you know what? You're not going to do that until you tell me just why you decided to blow me in the middle of Upper East Side Manhattan, Peter!"

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

With half a room between them, and more powers than Nathan will ever have, Peter still doesn't feel safe. He turns his eyes away from his brother, swallowing hard at the bile in the back of his throat. "Let's forget that happened." And is that so hard to ask?

The answer might as well be in any other language but English because the emotional levels in the room are climbing towards eruption and Peter's afraid of what will happen then.

Because it is going to happen. He can feel it on the tip of his tongue like the zap from a 9-volt battery or chewing foil with fillings.

"Can we please not do this?"

[law-anddisorder.livejournal.com]

Nathan shakes his head in disbelief. Compared to the fervor with which Peter had acted upon his sick desires in the passenger seat of his Mercedes, how he'd confronted Nathan with the desires that he himself had harbored so secretively he'd pushed them aside permanently, this was like talking to a completely different person.

"You really expect me to just forget it?" Nathan says, laughing now at the absolute ridiculousness of this current situation. "I can't, Peter. There are a lot of things that I've done that you've forgiven me for. And I know I owe you one. A big one. But this -- this is unfathomable. Bisexuality is one thing. Run with it, be my guest. But what you did to me is downright unforgivable. I'm your brother," he finishes, and then drains the last of his liquor, heading for the door.

Nathan knows that isn't fair. He let it happen. Maybe he doesn't really want to know why Peter did it. The answer is obvious, because he's felt it himself. His conscience, and his very sanity, have been fleeing from it ever since.

Maybe he wants to know why he feels it too, without actually saying the words.

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

If only Peter Parker had to deal with this sort of thing. The story is somewhat comparable, Peter thinks, as Nathan turns the doorknob. He learned the hard way that to be a super hero, you have to completely distance yourself from everyone you love, you have to drive them away. Peter's not some fictional character, though. He can't just follow along the lines of what a writer thinks should happen.

He's dealt with a big bad villain, saved a distressed scientist, stopped the world from imploding-- So why does he have to be alone simply because some not-him from a future where it's all right to fuck your brother tries to come back and fuck his brother?

And give him a bad haircut?

Peter swallows his tears and tries to salvage what's left of all of this.

"Yes, you're my brother. It's never going to happen again, none of it will ever happen again. I promise. Don't forgive me if you can't, but don't cut me out, either."

[law-anddisorder.livejournal.com]

Nathan stops before turning the doorknob, and turns back around to face his little brother. He really doesn't want to leave him here alone with his regret, and those tears that he can positively hear in Peter's voice.

His brother's honest, but not-quite-complete apology breaks through what's left of Nathan's indignant anger. However, the part that's mostly directed at himself, that's not going anywhere anytime soon. But Peter doesn't have to know about that.

He sighs and claps a hand on Peter's shoulder. He actually wants to give him a brotherly hug too, but he'll be damned if that happens for a long while.

"All right, Pete. You're my brother, and like I said, I owed you one. We wipe the slate clean like it never happened, and we never speak of this again."

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

Peter eagerly agrees, eyes brightening with more hope and less tears. Thank God. They can just move passed this and absolutely everything will be fine. Just fine.

They part ways without a problem and the pizza guy passes Nathan in the hallway. Peter's hungry, his appetite having returned. And yeah, that's a double order of cheese fries in that bag too. That amount has got to be abnormal.

Even for Peter Petrelli of the Hollow Legs!

A few days pass. Peter doesn't see his doppleganger. He doesn't bother his brother. He doesn't exactly have time. Not if his visions are going to come true. Not if Future Hiro had been right about what was going to happen to his brother in a new time line carved out, likely, by the messes he made with his future self.

He has no idea, however, that Nathan's also getting filled in on some news. And this time? It's about his baby brother's death. Surely that's a little worse than some road head.

[law-anddisorder.livejournal.com]

As it would turn out, Nathan's unconcern for the last week of his campaign made no difference at all. He won the election for Congress by a landslide. He suspects he knows who is behind it, now that he's discovered the master plan set in motion by "The Company" in which he and his younger brother star as two measly pawns.

Nathan's not going to stand by and watch his brother die. He'll die before that happens. He could care less about power and status and ruling his little corner of the world if the cost is this high.

He tries calling Peter, but his cell phone keeps going straight to voicemail. He has to find him. To warn him. Peter's spongelike power is dangerous, and if he can stop him from actually coming across the radioactive man...

And how is Nathan supposed to pick him out of eight million people in the city of New York? All he's good for is pulling cats out of trees!

Back to Peter's apartment he goes, hammering his finger on the intercom.

"Pete, it's me. It's Nathan. Open the door!"

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

And elderly man gives Nathan his break to get up the stairs and to Peter's apartment. The shitty lock and a good, strong, military trained shoulder are all that Nathan needs to get inside the apartment. It's no secret whatsoever that Peter had found the paintings that Nathan tried his best to get rid of, box up, and destroy. He just likely isn't expecting to find a bad computer print out of the image of the exploding man in front of what is obviously the installation at Kirby Plaza.

Too late, Nathan. You've won the election.

Peter's met the radioactive man. He's rushed off to be a hero. And he's not going to be stopping the man he things will explode. He'll become him.

It's already happening when Nathan arrives. Peter's starting to flash, looking horrified. He's going to kill these people. These poor people.

He's the villain. He's the one they should have been stopping. And when he sees Nathan striding for him, he panics. "Stay away!"

[law-anddisorder.livejournal.com]

Nathan is absolutely not ready for any of what he's seeing. His brother is glowing as bright as the sun, and the heat is intense, even from ten feet away. He shields his eyes; Peter is glowing so brightly it actually hurts to look at him.

Why isn't he actually burning? What little hair he has should have burned off of him. He should be screaming. Burning. Dying. But he's not.

And then he realizes it. His dirty little secret that goes by the name of Claire Bennet. She's indestructible, and Peter met her. He can't die!

But had Claire ever tested her ability against a nuclear explosion?

Well, in about five minutes, it's not going to matter for Nathan anymore. These eight million people won't die if only one does.

"No, I won't," Nathan says, stepping closer. Each step and the air around him exponentially increases in temperature. When he's close enough to touch him, Nathan begins to feel ill. But he's smiling anyway.

"I'm not going to let all these people die, Peter."

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

It's the first time that he's had his brother's arms around him in quite a long time. Peter's eyes well up with tears that evaporate the moment they hit his eyelashes.

This isn't how the other Peter said that Nathan died. It's something else. The outcome, however, is the same. Peter stops being able to breath as they break the sound barrier. He can't even cling to his brother any further.

Nathan's burning up, literally, and Peter's helpless to save him. "Let me go," he whines. Maybe, just maybe Nathan can get away in time.

And he does, but just barely.

Peter explodes, discharging energy, and immediately swoops down to find Nathan. He catches him in mid air, adrenaline flashing through his system as he takes him to a hospital.

His old hospital.

Peter won't leave his side. He can't. Even when Nathan's admitted into the burn ward, his case almost surely hopeless.

[fallen-empath.livejournal.com]

Continued here (http://fallen-empath.livejournal.com/7438.html).