It's Not Suicide If It Doesn't Stick

[chimeramimicry]

"It's Not Suicide If It Doesn't Stick"
Who: Peter, Peter, Nathan
When: The younger Peter believes his older self is dead.


I didn't really know him.  Except I did.  He's me.  Or was me.  I can't help how losing him makes me feel.

Sylar's gone.  Smashed up.  Mohinder really came through there and together, we managed to get the other me out of the apartment and int othe back of his cab.  I don't really know where to take him except--  I give Mohinder my address and somehow we get him upstairs before anyone notices something weird and we have to play Weekend at Bernie's.

Not sure how I'd handle puppetting a dead me, honestly.

Mohinder leaves, scarred and confused and Peter's bleeding on my couch.  I think about calling Nathan, but I can't.  No one can ever know the way I'm going to eventually go.

Comments

[fallen-empath.livejournal.com]

Peter shakes his head, not because he doesn't understand, but because he does. He remembers how that felt, not wanting to use it because of the emotional cast-off that came with it. Sylar was, and still is, his mortal enemy. No, maybe not because Peter can't die. His antithesis. He's not going to say 'nemesis' because that sounds too comic-booky, and there's nothing fantastical about this.

Nathan taught him that necessity overrides emotion any day of the week. It doesn't matter how you feel when you're doing the things you know need to be done.

"All right, then forget that one. We should try flying again. Don't try to throttle me this time."

Peter flings open the window with TK again -- it's really very useful! -- and picks other Peter up and leads him right to it.

"Show me you can do it without my help. Like I did with Nathan," he adds, without even really meaning to.

God, he's really screwing this up, isn't he?

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

Peter glances at his other self and smirks. "You're really ruining time lines aren't you? Spock wouldn't be happy at all." Peter's not a Star Trek fan at all, he's not really into science fiction unless it's been drawn and in panel form. And even then-- He prefers modern day stories. He likes Spiderman over Superman, despite the radioactive spider. Peter Parker's not an alien.

He's just genetically different from other humans.

Like he is! And yeah, Peter never gets tired of drawing comparisons between himself and his favorite comic book hero. And he likes to show off too. So, out the window he goes. He doesn't really care to feel the things his brother makes him feel at the moment either, so he flounders a bit before he catches himself and takes off.

[fallen-empath.livejournal.com]

Peter follows behind slowly, watching his younger self as he finds his wings, the ones his brother gave him, and he marvels at how hard his other self fights against it, so hard he almost falters.

But other Peter does as he's been instructed, just as he might do if Nathan were in his place. And that hurts. Nathan should be here, putting his two cents in. This isn't Peter's job. He's been through this before! Why is he saving himself from it? How can Peter learn what he knows if he teaches him otherwise?

His head spins from the discontinuity of it all, but nevertheless, he speeds up behind his younger self, catching up to him easily. He's flown many a mile without Nathan to help him or hold him back, that's for sure. Maybe other Peter just doesn't understand this yet.

Peter dips downward and seizes other Peter's wrist, halting his flight and effectively interrupting whatever's going through his other self's mind mind at the moment.

"He loves you, don't you get that?" he cries. "Why do you think I'm doing this? I'm trying to help you! I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did!"

The mistakes that killed him, Peter agonizes, pulling his other self close.

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

Being jerked out of flight is startling but to suddenly be clung to like that? He struggles at first, and while he's sure he can get away if he needs to, Peter will pursue him. He can't get away permanently and it's dawning on him, now, that his older self is probably unhinged.

He really doesn't want to hear about their tryst, his older self and the brother that died. "I know he loves me, he's my brother!" Yes, Peter's well aware of just who that 'he' is. It's the only thing that's ever on his other self's mind. "I love him too... And I'm sorry you lost him and what you had, I am, honestly, you know that--"

He swallows.

"Peter, you're hurting me..." And then the hug. That horrible, sad hug. He snuffles lightly against his neck and exhales slowly, tugging himself closer as well. "I'm sorry. I don't know what you want from me..."

[fallen-empath.livejournal.com]

Those soft words, spoken in his own voice but coming from the person in front of him, are like a shot to the chest. He knows that there's only one Peter Petrelli here, hovering in mid-air over the East River, who just doesn't get it. And it's himself.

He was so intent on this being the right place and the right time that he never really paid attention to the fact that this version of himself is normal and not incredibly twisted like he is. Or maybe he just didn't want to see it, didn't want to admit he was fighting a losing battle.

He hasn't stopped anything. Peter will go back, and everything will be as it was before. The thought is devastating, and his limbs go slack, his head dropping to other Peter's shoulder. If other Peter weren't here, he would go plummeting straight to earth, die on impact, and then pick himself up from the wreckage without a scratch.

Peter is tired, and death, permanent death, would be a relief.

But that isn't his fate.

"I don't -- I don't really know," Peter replies finally, pulling back, placing his hands carefully on his other self's shoulders. "I don't know anything anymore, and I'm sorry."

[chimeramimic.livejournal.com]

It's hard to keep up with what's going on anymore. Peter looked into his own eyes and just sees a whole lot of darkness and a lost sense of loneliness he really can't manage to identify. It scares him to think that he might become this way too. 

Peter sets a hand on his older version's cheek and lightly thumbs under his eye. 

"Let's go back. Have another beer. C'mon."